The world in which parents raise and bring up children today is certainly not very friendly or welcoming. On the contrary, it can rather be described as challenging and intimidating. Every parent responds differently to this challenging world. The fact is that your child will at times struggle and experience some pain.
Every adult can write chapter upon chapter in their own life book about disappointments, heartache, pain, and challenges. Every adult has many stories of how he or she learned to deal with these things. You have therefore paid expensive school fees to be a good teacher for your own child. But no, most parents choose to rush in to rescue and intervene at the very first bit of pain or disappointment in a child’s life.
Few parents realize that they are depriving their children of learning the skill of handling pain. Few parents realize that every child must come to understand that life is unfair, that life is sometimes hard and unforgiving, and full of disappointments. Therefore, it is vitally important for your child’s overall development as a person to learn these skills. Many parents today, however, are extremely overprotective and “rescue” their child at every opportunity. Intervention happens far too quickly, and others are blamed far too easily.
Paul writes in Romans 5 verses 3 and 4 about a very interesting reality of life: suffering produces perseverance… perseverance produces proven character… and proven character produces hope. God’s purpose and plan for every person is that your life will ultimately become a story of hope for someone else. Hope, however, is the result of suffering. I am convinced you have already experienced this firsthand.
So here is the challenge for every parent: not to spare your child from suffering. No, rather to guide your child through suffering and to help your child learn how to handle it. In doing so, you add value to your child’s life. You do not do your child a favor by “rescuing” them from suffering at every opportunity! No, you deprive your child of the opportunity to grow into a beacon of hope.
Dear parent, make time to journey with your child. Journey with them through the injustice and hardship of life. Teach them how to handle suffering and setbacks. Be there and support them, but you are not International Rescue or 911 in your child’s life. You cannot and must not send your child into life without the necessary skills. You are not doing your child any favors. I know it is not pleasant to see your child suffer, but think long term about your child’s future.
(There is, of course, a difference between “pain” and “harm.” Know your child well enough to distinguish between the two. But know this for certain: not all “pain” harms your child. On the contrary, it can contribute to enormous growth in your child’s life.)
Written by Johan Smith