No successful leader in the past was liked by everyone. No successful leader has not been regularly criticized. No successful leader led with popularity as his or her primary motive. No, successful leaders are people who understand that leadership is challenging and sometimes very difficult and demanding. They are driven and motivated by progress. They see a picture and do everything in their power to do the right thing so that the picture can become reality.
John Halter writes very brilliantly and extremely challengingly about leadership:
“My first rule is, ‘Leaders must be tough.’ No one is going to follow a wimp into battle. A leader who cannot deal with adversity and difficulty while keeping their cool and delivering solutions will quickly be disregarded by the team. And even worse, a leader who does not know where he stands will find himself standing alone.”
Leaders’ minds often become badly confused between the two concepts “nice” and “mean.” In many people’s minds, you are one or the other. You are either the one or the other—there is nothing in between. “Mean” means you have no good word to say to anyone, you never give compliments, you show no appreciation. In short, you break people down and you are harsh. “Nice,” on the other hand, means you always smile, accept everything from everyone, and agree with everyone. You want to be your team’s friend. You want to keep everyone happy, and everyone must like you. Well then, for many leaders these are the two choices: you are either “mean” or “nice.” How absurd! How wrong!
John Halter helps us again beautifully:
“I bet every teacher, coach, boss, or friend you ever respected (not just liked) was tough. Some of them may have been dynamic and some of them might have been quiet souls, but they were tough. They expected more out of you, they expected your best, and you gave it to them.”
Learn that leadership ultimately comes down to respect. Neither “nice” nor “mean” will help you earn respect from the people who follow you. No, one important word that leads people to respect is honesty. Your honesty for the sake of someone else’s growth and improvement is absolutely essential. Note that honesty flows from care and from love. Honesty is therefore not brutal or “mean.”
In short: neither “mean” nor “nice” leads to respect. Therefore, for your own sake and for the sake of every person you lead, learn the skill of honesty in love.
Written by Johan Smith