In a Gallup research study, 41 percent of people indicated that they are stressed on a daily basis. Seventy-eight percent experience high levels of stress on a regular basis. In the same study, 40 percent of the participants indicated that they always or very often do not have time to relax. This is very bad news for a healthy family life. Parents are simply no longer calm. No, parents are restless, therefore rushed, experiencing high stress levels, and much of it is transferred to the children or, at the very least, rubs off on them.
Families who eat together have declined by 33 percent over a period of 20 years. Children today have 250 percent less free time for play than about 20 years ago. Structured activities have increased dramatically, and time for ordinary play is scarce to almost non-existent.
Because parents are so rushed and so focused on achievement, this is also forced onto children. They must perform in sport, culture, and academics. The wonderful writer Timothy Smith describes in his book Connecting with Your Kids the 10 things that frustrate your child the most:
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Do not form a close bond with your young child by, for example, playing with him. Do not give him your time and attention.
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Believe that professional babysitters are sufficient to fill your shoes as father and mother.
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Do not cuddle your children, read to them, talk with them, or play with them.
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Ignore everything that has to do with healthy boundaries and discipline, as well as rules and routines.
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Do not introduce your child to your moral values and Christian standards. Let them discover it themselves.
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Give your child complete freedom and control over their own lives.
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Live your life through your child. Her success is yours. Her failures are yours. Your child’s achievements make you feel better about yourself.
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Never hold your child accountable for their actions and behavior. There should be no consequences for their behavior.
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Pressure your child to perform in areas in which he or she has not been given any talents.
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Do not waste your time talking to your child about important and relevant matters.
Written by Johan Smith